What is your parenting metaphor?
At dinner, I asked a question of my adult children. They are college age, or one is on the cusp anyway, plus due to covid, the one in college is living with us, so we are currently a multigenerational household. “What’s my parenting metaphor? What’s the thing you think of that puts my parenting philosophy into one succinct statement or term?” It doesn’t have to be a well-known term or phrase or a phrase I have used; it can be how you feel about my parenting style. It was a question I first heard as part of a radio segment. I thought it would be fun to ask the kids what they learned about my parenting style over the years.
I didn’t know what they would say or how the question would be perceived. The kids had lots to say and lots of old memories of locutions that I use to blurt while I was terse, flustered, unhappy, overwhelmed, and deep in the chaotic moments of parenting. They even thought of a few for my husband. They thought and exchanged awkward glances but then chirped out a few refrains. It was a hit parade of colloquialisms when they got going. One shouted, “Appreciate your comb Junnie B.,” and “You get what you get, and you don’t have a fit.” The other followed closely by with “Their mother doesn’t love them enough.” As the meal progressed, more and more were brought up; “Wish in one hand and want in the other,” “If you wanna keep anything nice in this house, you gotta shove it up your ass,” the old stand by “Rub some dirt in it,” and the lesser-known “To see a man about a horse,” just to name a few. A few were holdovers from my own childhood and deserve a post of their own. The one they stuck to was “You’re in good company”; this pleased me.
So “you’re in good company” it is. Many times on a trip to the store when the kids were little, they would complain of having to run an errand with their mom. Any number of reasons to complain about something that spends your time doing something you really dont want to do. I would only respond with “you’re in good company.” That might be followed by “make the best of it.” At the doctor, the mechanic, the library in the adult section, I would exclaim this mantra in the car on long rides too. At first, groans were the response, but soon they would chime out to the other complainer, you’re in good company, as if they say, “Hey dude, what am I chopped liver?.” I swear I started to see a solidarity brewing. Massive traffic delays are a daily occurrence in our city, so this was a pretty regular refrain in the car on the way to just about everything we went to do in the car as a group, including concerts or sporting events or the long line to exit said sporting event.
You’re [I’m] in good company is a nod to all in your presence that signifies you have great respect for the time you get to spend with them. You should try it when otherwise stuck in the muck of the days’ delays that have robbed you of the control you thought you had. It’s not just a signal to enjoy the ride but to cherish the other passengers and the time you would otherwise have wanted to spend differently.
